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Tuesday, April 17, 2012
The Halo Bulletin: 4.17.12
Save the date!
November 6 is an important date in Halo’s vast and fascinating history. For the uninitiated, that was the day the Master Chief found a weapon, a parched Grunt stumbled upon the starship, and Staff Sergeant Avery Junior Johnson discovered the answer to one of life’s most perplexing questions. He wasn’t born knowing what the ladies like, you know. (Frankie wants me to point out that if ANYONE had been born knowing what the ladies like, it would be Sgt. Johnson, possibly related to his case of Boren's Syndrome, whatever that means….)
Now we’re adding another data point to that particular date on the Halo timeline, and that’s the release of Halo 4.
The end of Halo 3 found the Master Chief deep in cryogenic sleep, drifting toward a mysterious Forerunner planet, with Cortana instructed to wake him if she needs him. You can now consider his alarm clock officially set because Halo 4, the game that marks the much anticipated return of legendary hero Master Chief, will launch worldwide on November 6, 2012.
Halo 4 launch date revealed!
Being lost in space, adrift aboard ship wreckage, is no laughing matter. What is, though, is this exclusive Rooster Teeth video that reveals the launch date for Halo 4 (November 6, 2012 - SPOILERZ!). Press play to learn Red Team’s complicated but hopefully successful strategy for keeping this very important Halo 4 information away from the Blues.
Moral of the story? Forget about remembering, and focus on not forgetting. Oh, and pre-ordering is probably not a bad idea as well.
Conan O’Brien celebrates this fall’s launch of Halo 4 tonight!
If you thought you only had to remember one date today (November 6, 2012, w00t!), you’re mistaken because you also need to mark April 17 on your calendar as well. Making that endeavor slightly easier is the fact that April 17 is TODAY.
Whether you like redheads, Irishmen, or slumbering Spartan super-soldiers, you should tune in to the popular late night program “CONAN” tonight at 11 p.m. Pacific Standard Time to find out how Conan O’Brien and his side-kick Andy Richter are connected to Master Chief and Halo 4 in a segment that features our very own Frank O’Connor and Kiki Wolfkill.
Since Conan supporters are collectively referred to as Team Coco, I think it’s only fitting that Frankie and Kiki be referred to as Team Friki for the purposes of the following behind-the-scenes interview. So without further ado, I'm proud to present a short Q&A with Team Friki, where they readily reveal all the juicy things that tend to happen when you appear on a late-night talk show.
YOU’RE A –YOINK!– O’CONNOR!
behind-the-scenes at Conan
So, let’s talk experience, Team Friki. Have either of you attended or been on a late-night talk show before?
Kiki – No, although I have many times imagined myself on a late night talk show… my vision (SO hot!) was distinctly different from the reality.
Frankie – I have visited the Letterman offices a couple of times. And I am best friends with Jason Sudeikis of SNL. He is not aware of this friendship.
What did you do to prepare?
Kiki – I stuffed Kleenex in my pits, and then threw them at Frank.
Frankie – I kept the fact that we were going to be on-camera secret from Kiki and encouraged her to wear a gray t-shirt and drink a lot of coffee.
Frankie, you’re evil. But back to business. What was the first thing Conan said to you?
Kiki – “Hi.”
Frankie – He told me not to try to be funny and that he was the comedy expert, not me.
What was the first thing you said to Conan?
Kiki – “High.”
Frankie – I offered to shine his shoes.
Let’s assume you could go back and say something different (looks pointedly at Frankie). What would it be?
Kiki – “Hello, Mr. O’Brien. I am a huge fan of your work. Is my face shiny?”
Frankie – “How can we be sure you’re of Irish descent?”
I’m resisting the urge to comment on that last answer. Anyway, what was the funniest thing Conan said?
Kiki – I can’t repeat it but it had something to do with celebratory crouching.
Frankie – “Shy-tay.”
I’m hoping we find out what that means later tonight. Speaking of which, does Conan play Halo?
Kiki - He IS Halo.
That answer was so good, Kiki, that I cut out Frankie’s response (don’t tell him). How nervous were you both during this experience?
Kiki – I was in a blind panic exacerbated by Frank’s shit-eating grin because he failed to tell me we would be on TV. Evil hath a human form.
Frankie – I was as cool as a cucumber gimlet.
Did you do a sketch? Interview? Just talk?
Kiki – We, you know, pal’ed around.
Frankie – We became best friends. Conan is not aware of this friendship.
I’m starting to notice a theme. If you had a contract drawn up for your appearance, what would some of your demands be?
Kiki – For the love of God, a little makeup. Oh, and a pony with a sparkly mane. And an Aston Martin DBS.
Frankie – My own pooper, with a lock that you can tell is for sure locked. Not one of those locks where you aren’t certain if it’s really locked. Or worse, a flimsy pooper door that flexes enough to allow the sliding bolt to disengage when someone rattles it to see if anyone is in there. IF THE STALL DOOR IS CLOSED, LEAVE IT ALONE, IDIOT.
I already apologized for that incident, jeez! Not to switch topics (but totally to switch topics), what was the best thing about the experience?
Kiki – Watching Frank in action – a comedic god amongst gods.
Frankie – The whole day was incredibly smooth. And lunch was delicious. And I saw Taylor Lautner and discovered that he is a SUPER NICE polite young man who holds doors open for older ladies. True story. Don’t know anything else about him, but now I am on Team Jacob and effectively best friends with him. Taylor is not aware of this friendship.
And the worst thing about the experience?
Kiki – Not being able to properly prepare for my late-night debut (i.e., I was sober).
Frankie – I had to literally tell an older lady to close her mouth which was literally hanging open when she saw my besty, Taylor Lautner.
And the funniest thing?
Frankie – Watching an older lady sweat through her T-shirt, fraught with nerves.
Kiki – Seriously, EVERYTHING was funny. Conan and Andy riffing in the Halo universe was unmatchable.
Remember, tune into “CONAN” tonight at 11 p.m. Pacific Standard Time to enjoy the fruits of Team Friki’s labor. And if, after watching some Halo-related late-night television later this evening, you feel the urge to play Halo: Reach, continue reading, because the following segments are for you.
Custom Challenge of the Week
The Spartan Laser is a dangerous rifle, especially in the right hands. Because it's capable of penetrating multiple targets with a single charge, crossing streams is the least of your worries when it comes to this particular anti-vehicle weapon. If the previous sentiments don’t frighten you, perhaps you’ll considering accepting this week’s Custom Challenge of the Week, suggested by a penguin that ate a fly.
Starting tomorrow and continuing until next Tuesday at 11:59 p.m. Pacific Time, setting up a Campaign or Custom Firefight Challenge with the Spartan Laser—W/AV M6 G/GNR—as the type of weapon will result in ten times the usual multiplier.
Let the splasing begin!
Super Jackpot Weekend
I know you have a date with an Irishman this evening, but if your weekend still has an opening or two, I highly recommend some eight-versus-eight action because starting on Friday and ending on Sunday, hopping into the Big Team Battle playlist will present you with the chance of receiving a 20,000-credit bonus. And who couldn’t use that?
And that credit-filled note ends this one-day-early edition of your weekly Halo Bulletin. Don’t think your Wednesday will be lacking, though, because I heard there may or may not be a podcast coming soon....
Until next week.
P.S. I do believe I owe you a Friday Caption Fun image. Embiggen, snag, and then hit the latest installment to dazzle us with your wit. Off you go!